Stop Repeating the Past: How to Rehearse the Life You Actually Want

,: 2025

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Are you ready? Let's go.

Hello, love. Welcome back to the podcast and happy Thursday. Today we're gonna be diving into a powerful shift that, if I'm being honest, most people will never make this shift in their life, but when you do, it changes everything. And this is what we're talking about, expecting the best and rehearsing for success.

ize. We're already expecting [: 00:01:00

The only question is. What story are you expecting? What results are you expecting and what are you rehearsing? Here's the thing. Most of us, we spend way more time than we realize, just mentally repeating what isn't working, what isn't working in our life, and. We think we're just stating the facts, right?

We think that we're just looking out at reality and explaining what's actually happening. Like the money's not here yet, or my business still isn't taking off, or I haven't met the right person yet, and. When we do this, we think we're being honest, but really what we're doing is we're rehearsing. We're rehearsing struggle.

ime. Sometimes it's not that [: 00:02:00

You might tell your partner, you vent to your best friend. Maybe you even put it out on a Facebook group and you have people chime in. You replay the whole thing over and over in your head, like it's a, a bad soap opera. One of those. Horrible soap operas that you didn't even wanna watch the first time.

You didn't like it, but somehow you just keep watching the reruns. Right? And even though you hate the way it ends, you just keep watching reruns over and over. That's what I mean by rehearsing. Sometimes we can even memorize the lines like we're about to perform the whole thing on stage. Like, can you believe what they said?

at every thought you repeat, [: 00:03:00

And I'm gonna say this again because this is really subtle, but is really fucking important. Every story you retell, every single time you retell that story. It's a mental and emotional practice, and most of us are practicing a story that's keeping us stuck. It's keeping us, maybe it's not even stuck, but it's just keeping us from our full potential.

It's keeping us from reaching our goals, reaching what we desire. And I've been thinking about this a lot lately because Andy's been gone for the last three weeks. He's been down in Belize working on the micro resort. And look, you all know I love my husband. I love when he's here, but I also really, really love when he goes away for a couple weeks because here's the truth.

vel togetherness. So when he [: 00:04:00

Where's my keys? Have you seen my keys? Have you seen this? Auntie loses a lot of stuff and, um, anyway, so I've also been swimming every day. And here's the thing, when I'm swimming, it's just me and my breath and my thoughts. 'cause I don't have any music going on. I don't have a True Crime podcast whispering in my ear.

looping all the time in the [: 00:05:00

Don't even realize that we're constantly rehearsing the worst case scenario. And honestly, it doesn't even have to be the worst case scenario. It could just be the current case scenario, which is keeping us stuck and creating more of the same over and over, and. This really came full circle for me the other day because I was talking to a girlfriend and she was totally stuck in a loop.

She was dealing with a lot of stuff going on, and she had a lot of drama with her landlord at her commercial building, and she started telling me the story and then about halfway through she goes. Ugh. I'm just so tired. I don't even know if I can go into all the detail because I've like told 10 people and I talked about it in therapy, and I'm just so tired.

use every time she re-told a [: 00:06:00

She was reliving it every time and she was making it more real every single time she spoke about it. So I asked her, what if we walk through. The best case scenario. Instead, what if we rehearsed that instead? So don't tell me the story, but tell me what the best case could be. And when I asked that, she paused and she said, well, honestly, that's probably not gonna happen.

And friend, here's the truth. If we don't create space for the good things to happen, then there's no space for the good things to happen. It's like trying to plant a tomato seed in a garden that's completely overgrown with weeds. There's just no space for it, and we all do this love. I do it. My friend was doing it.

I'm, I'm [: 00:07:00

We have to start rehearsing the life we. Actually want, we have to start telling that story, not the one that we've lived and outgrown. And that brings me to one of my greatest inspirations, one of my favorite teachers, Viktor Frankl. If you've been in my world for a while, you might have heard me mention him.

And if you haven't, then you really should go pick up his book, man. Search for Meaning. I'll put a link to it in show notes so you can easily get it, but it's truly life changing. So Frankl was a neurologist and a psychiatrist who, he survived Auschwitz and he went on to develop a method of psychotherapy called logotherapy.

And it's [: 00:08:00

One of his, uh, famous quotes was that everything can be taken from man, but one thing. The last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances. It means no matter what happens to us, no matter what state we're in, we always have the choice to choose our response, to choose our attitude.

how later on in life he was [: 00:09:00

You have to aim north of it because crosswinds will push you off course. So if you aim straight at your goal, you're gonna end up somewhere totally different, like down in Georgia. And I love this metaphor because he's talking about how we have to aim above our desired state, and he uses this metaphor for how we guide others.

And I think it's one of the most beautiful descriptions of what we do as coaches, teachers, parents, even friends. Because our job isn't to reflect on who someone is right now. It's to hold the highest version of them, even when they can't see it yet. Our role is to expect the best to aim higher because when we hold that version with love and certainty, we actually help.

coworkers, and especially to [: 00:10:00

So we need to aim for the very, very highest version of ourself. And when we start holding that aligned version of who we truly are, we give life something bigger to like organize into, to kind of fill in around. I hope that's making sense. I know it can be a little abstract, but let me ask you, where in your life have you been expecting things to go wrong?

Or even where in your life have you been expecting things to stay the same? Where have you been mentally rehearsing? Failure? Disappointment, or just more of the same, whether it's about yourself or someone you love. I know this is a big one for our kids, especially when our kids get into their teens and maybe they have attitude.

xpecting them to show up the [: 00:11:00

It could be a tough conversation. It could be your partner. It could be your child, your business, your body. Instead of bracing from what might go wrong or instead of focusing on what you're currently experiencing, what if you imagined and rehearsed the best case scenario, your ideal scenario, your dream scenario?

And when I say rehearse it, I'm not talking about just. Thinking about it. I mean, really feeling it, experiencing it all throughout your body. This is what I call a somatic activation, and it's a method I teach inside of my neuro somatic manifesting course. And it's not just about thinking or mindset, it's about embodiment.

eceive them, to create them. [: 00:12:00

What words would be being said? What would the air smell like? What would the ground feel like beneath your feet? We wanna rehearse the whole thing because here's the truth. Your brain, it doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. So when you start showing up in alignment with your future self.

Reality starts to shift to meet you. It's very, very magical. And I know it sounds woo woo, but it's actually pretty scientific because rehearsing the current reality doesn't prepare you. It just drains your energy and it keeps you in a cycle that you're ready to outgrow. And when you shift to expecting the best and rehearsing that, you stop becoming a bystander and you start becoming the creator of your life because your thoughts aren't just fleeting.

They create patterns in your [: 00:13:00

And real quick, along this line, I just wanna share something personal real quick. Um, I recently started therapy again. Because there's a lot going on in our world right now. Let's be honest. I love having an uninterrupted audience for my thoughts. So during my first session, my therapist wanted to do a intake and a background and all that stuff, and she started asking me about my trauma history, and I had to pause and say, I'm not willing to go there.

That's not what I'm, I wanna focus on, because I don't wanna rehearse that story anymore. Not because I pretend the past didn't happen, or pretend trauma didn't happen. I'm a trauma-informed somatic coach. I have extensive training in trauma. I have extensive experience in trauma, so I know how it lives in the brain.

ow how it lives in the body. [: 00:14:00

And I'm not saying that that's not important. I've done that work in the past in therapy, so I don't need to rehash it again, but very often in therapeutic settings. People can get stuck there for years and years, like just rehashing the same old thing over and over, which is very, very different from coaching where we're taking a future focus.

And so sometimes you will see that in a therapeutic setting. Sometimes it's the people around you, right? The ones who have known you at maybe you're not so greatest moments, family or friends or people who still expect you to show up as a version of you that they've always known. But just because someone.

ave to stay there with them, [: 00:15:00

Best case scenario. Let's create space for that and let's create from that place. Okay, love. If this episode spoke to you, if you resonated with anything, let me know. Leave a review, send me a DM or share it with a friend and love. If you are ready to go deeper into your body, into your energy, into your next level identity, then I wanna invite you to something brand new.

his I get a hold the highest [: 00:16:00

It's about becoming the version of you who no longer rehearses the past but lives, breathes, and. Completely creates the future that she's made for. So I only have 10 spots available for this because again, it's a deep dive. It's one-on-one work. We're working together for 12 full weeks, and I created it so that it's intentionally designed for the woman who's really ready to step into her next level change.

I'm gonna put all the details in show notes and you can also reach out to me directly or if you wanna set up a time to see if this is right for you. Then there's a, there's also a link in the show notes for that. You can jump on a zoom, say hi, and see if this is a good fit for you. Alright, love. I hope you enjoy the episode and until next week, keep manifesting an epic life.