What Do You REALLY Want?! Uncovering Our Deepest Desires

Melanie (: 00:01

Hello, friend, and welcome to episode one of the podcast. This is something that has been on my heart for a very, very long time. So I'm really glad that you're here joining me. And throughout this podcast, we're going to have some intimate conversations about many of my favorite topics, including manifestation, neuroscience, goals, fears, pleasure, which is one of my favorite topics to talk about, love, and so much more.

But today, at the beginning, I want to start with what I think is probably the most important question we can ask ourselves and really explore. And friend, it's not only a question, it's also, I guess, kind of an invitation to you. So if you're somewhere where you can settle into a cozy chair and kind of take this in, then please do. Okay, here we go.

This is my question and my invitation to you. And it might seem simple, but I promise if you explore this more, there is more beneath at the surface. And it's simply this.

What do you want?

What do you want?

What do you really want?

what do you secretly desire?

What do you hope for?

What do you dream about?

What are those yearnings?

What are those yearnings that you pretend you don't even have

Because deep down, you're scared that if you acknowledge them, you might be disappointed.

And if all those voices in your head stop saying shit like, you're too old, you're too young, you're too fat, you're too thin, it's too late for you, your time has just passed, or you should have done this a long time ago, or maybe this isn't just meant for you.

If all those voices were silenced, friend, then what would you desire?

Again, what do you want?

What are your secret wants? T

hose wants that can't be silenced with another glass of wine or another Amazon purchase or

piece of cake or mindless online scrolling.

And friend, if you knew, if you genuinely knew that you were worthy and born for greatness, how would you show up differently to the only life you've got? And at the end of the day, when it's just you and silence and your God, what does your heart ache for? Like, what is that aching that just can't be silenced or shut down no matter how hard you try, no matter how busy you keep yourself?

no matter how many accomplishments you achieve or how much you try and ignore it.

When you look at the clock and you notice time is just fucking blazing by. What are you worried that you're going to miss out on? When all the noise is gone, what is it that your heart truly longs for? What do you want? What do you really, really want? What kind of mark do you want to leave on this world?

How do you wanna be remembered? What friend do you really truly want?

Okay, I want you to kind of settle in with that. And I know it can be a lot, but I want you to let that kind of settle into yourselves and know that I asked this question in this many layers for a really specific reason. Because many years ago, I had a personal experience that changed my life.

because many years ago, I personally had an experience that changed my life. And it was, I was, I was in a therapy session and my therapist asked me what seemed like the most basic question. She said, so Melanie, what do you want? And I thought for a second and I answered her with bullshit like, well, I want to have more money. I want to be a better mom. I want to, I want work life balance.

I would really like to go on vacation. I want to lose 10 pounds and like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. It was all this stuff. I had a pretty long list. And she sat and listened. And so she sat and she listened to me as therapists do. Then after a really long silence, she leaned forward and locked eyes with me. And she said slowly, like really slowly. Okay.

Melanie, now tell me, what do you really want? What do you secretly desire? And friend, I don't know if it was the intensity of how she asked me the question or the way she locked eyes with me. I don't know what it was, but it really shocked me because no one had ever asked me that question before. And to be honest, I don't know if I'd ever stopped being busy enough.

to ask myself that question. I was so busy living and working and raising a child and being a mom, doing all the things that I hadn't stopped to think. So I sat for a really long time in the session just pondering like, what do I want? And as I sat there, I realized I didn't have an answer for her because I looked back at what I had told her at that list I had given her.

And I realized it was nothing more than like a pumped up to do list. None of those answers set my heart on fire. None of them were like true desires. They were just all to do. Of course I want to be a better mom. Of course I want to lose 10 pounds. Of course all that shit. So I left that appointment kind of in a fog because what seemed like such a straightforward question, I just...

I couldn't figure out why it was stirring up so much inside of me. And like, why the hell can I answer this? And after a while I thought, okay, well maybe I'm just content with my life. Isn't that a good thing? Like maybe I have, like maybe I have everything I want. Maybe I have the perfect life. Maybe it's all good. No, no, no.

No friend, that was not the answer. That was bullshit. So that night I was sleeping and I'm a really intense dreamer. And that night, as I was sleeping, I literally was jolted awake by these words.

Stop pretending you don't want more just because deep down you secretly fear you can't have more or worse that you don't deserve more. Friend, like those words literally shocked my ass right out of bed. I sat up like, what the fuck? And I had to finally hit the truth that fear and self -doubt have been running the show in my life and totally squashing my desires.

for years, like the gig was up. So I share this very, very intimate story with you here in episode one, because I know I'm not alone in this experience. After working with many women over the years, I have seen how fear can keep us from taking the leap into our greatness or for reaching for more or even asking for more.

And it's really interesting how it does this because fear works almost like a computer virus. It works really slyly in the background of our lives. You know, everything on the surface seems to be working fine, right? We seem to be getting our shit done, to be having success. We have the family and the house and the car and the career and all this shit.

But in the background, fear and self -doubt are like wreaking havoc under the surface. So when I ask this question of you, what do you want? It's really easy to answer with a big list of goals or a huge to -do list. But I want you to remember that true embody, but I want you to remember that desire, like true embodied desire.

is not about reaching goals. It's not even about manifesting tangible things, like a new house or a new job or a car. Because here's the thing. I know many women who reach their goals, they build a career, they have the family, they have the home, they manifest all that shit, they seem to have it all, and then they wake up one day, they manifest.

all these things, they seem to have it all. And then they wake up one day and say, what the fuck? Like, why am I not happy? There must be more. And friend, that more is embodiment. It's like connection to yourself.

It's about how do we want to experience and engage in our life with the people that we love, with the world around us, with all of those things. So I invite you to go back to the beginning of this episode when you have a moment to yourself and take some time to really reflect and see if you can come up and see if you can really go deep into discovering what you want out of life.

So I invite you to go back to the beginning of this episode. And when you have a moment to yourself, take some time to really reflect and see if you can go deep into discovering what you really want. And if you're having some difficulty answering these questions or connecting, then the way that I did, quite honestly, then, and if you're having difficulty answering these questions or connecting the way that I did, which is,

very, very common, by the way, then I find it sometimes helps to look at things from another perspective. So ask yourself, at the end of my life, how do I want to be remembered? What mark do I want to leave on those that interact with me, on the people that I love and care for? And if you're still having trouble, then please reach out because this is something I love helping women with.

Okay, so in closing, I would like to leave you with two quotes. The first one, which is a very famous quote by Marianne Williamson, who I love and adore, and it's this. The first one, which is a very famous quote by Marianne Williamson, who I love and adore, and it's this. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. I love that one. And then I'm gonna repeat the quote that shook my ass out of bed in the middle of the night many years ago. And if you are playing small in this world, I invite you to take this one on for yourself.

Stop pretending you don't want more just because deep down you secretly fear you can't have more or worse believe you don't deserve more. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you found something that inspired or delighted you, then please rate, subscribe and share it with a friend.

I'll see you next week.