The Art of Letting Go: Releasing What No Longer Serves You

Melanie Mishler (: 00:26

Hello my beautiful friend and welcome back to the podcast. It is spring here in Northern California and man it has been so beautiful the last few days. I have to say that this time of year is one of my favorites because I feel like there's an awakening happening. It's almost like I start getting

very, very buzzy with ideas and excitement for new projects and things like that. I know New Year's is a time when we all make resolutions and goals and things like that. But honestly, New Year's is during winter. And for me, that's a time of rest and reflection and going inwards. Whereas spring is more of an

outward type of season for me. So get ready because I have a lot of new things coming up this spring.

getting ready to do the final recordings for my course, Manifestation Mastery. I have the new masterclass, Identity Unlocked, working on some really fun other projects that I cannot wait to share with you.

But today we're going to be talking about something that we all face at one point or another as we step into our power, into our full potential self. And that is the art of letting go, letting go, releasing, moving on, all of those things. So let me ask you, have you ever felt a nudge deep down in your body that it's time to release something in your life?

It could be a relationship, a job, a habit, a coping mechanism, a belief. Maybe it's even an old dream that's no longer aligned with the person that you're becoming or the person that you know you're meant to be.

I know that often we don't just think this, we feel it. For me, I can feel it almost like a heaviness in my chest or a sluggishness in my body. and I think often the best way for me to describe it is I'll tell Andy, I have this ache in my bones. it's almost like an unshakable knowing that something just isn't quite right.

and I hear many women describe it in similar ways, almost as if it's an anxiety that sits just under the surface of our life or kind of like a restless energy that we can't quite name.

And our bodies are so smart. It's almost as if our bodies know before our minds do and our bodies whisper to us, hey, this isn't working anymore. Or it's time to do something different.

And yet really often, even when we feel that weight, even when we know in our bones that it's time to let go of something, so often we just cling on. We just keep holding on. Sometimes it's for months, sometimes years or even decades,

in my manifestation course that we just wrapped up last month. We had some powerful conversations about the difference between quitting and letting go. And this is a really important distinction because so often we stay stuck, not because we want to obviously, but because we're afraid of what it means to release something. And in my course, I shared a story with permission, of course, because I never share stories without permission.

shared the story of a client who was struggling with holding onto something that was no longer aligned for her. She was holding on to her marriage

And she had done the work on it. They had done therapy. She had done all the things and she kept holding on even though it didn't feel aligned. And she told me, Melanie, I don't want to be a quitter. I don't want to quit. And here's the thing. Her fear was very real. She didn't want to feel like she was giving up on herself and she felt like she was obligated to be in this relationship. what happened is as she started exploring this,

something shifted. She realized that she wasn't quitting. She wasn't walking away because she failed. Instead, she was honoring her growth and she was choosing alignment and stepping into this new phase of her life. So it's important to understand that letting go isn't about quitting. It's about choosing.

It's about releasing what weighs us down so that we can create space for what feels lighter and more aligned and more expansive in our this doesn't just apply to relationships. It applies to anything in our life that feels like weight or it feels like it's out of alignment.

It can be a belief, a coping mechanism, a habit, a job, Or even a version of yourself that you've outgrown. And it can show up in many ways.

Here's a really common one that I see, especially with the women I work with who are over 40. They might have been in a career for 20 years and suddenly realize, wait a second, I have this deeper calling inside of me that it just won't let me rest.

And very often we choose to cling to the security of a job because it feels familiar because it feels like, quote, quitting if we walk away. But what if it's not quitting?

What if it's making space to follow the pull of something that's more aligned for you now? Trusting that letting go what no longer fits isn't abandoning the work that you've done, but it's honoring the work you're called to do next.

I was just talking to the mother of another college student. For those of you who don't know, my daughter is 22 and she's a senior in college right now. these young people have today to choose a career, to choose something, to make a decision and make a commitment major or a degree

or something that's gonna determine the job that they will have for quote, the rest of their lives, right? and my gosh, just the pressure of hearing that is so overwhelming. I try and tell my daughter, you don't have to have it all figured out. There's no way you can have it all figured out.

if I had to stick with the path I chose when I was 20 years old, would be a hot mess because I'm a completely different person now. And here's the thing.

We have the ability, we have the right to change course, to change course in any part of our life that we decide we want to change course in. This is a huge amount of freedom to have.

And it doesn't mean we're giving up. and friends, for those of you who know me, you know that I'm kind of in a transition stage right now because Andy and I have been wedding photographers for over 20 years. We've been running a really successful photography business and a wedding venue business, and we are changing course completely.

I'm shifting a hundred percent into coaching, somatic therapy and online teaching.

And he is building a boutique resort in Belize. So we are moving locations. We're moving out of the country. We are in a huge, huge phase of transition means letting go of things that sometimes I don't want to let go of.

believe it was my teacher Neville Goddard who said, failure comes from doing too many things in an ineffective way. And what happens when we don't let go of one thing, but we're trying to kind of cling to things

instead of stepping fully into an identity or fully into a next chapter, then it's really easy to fail because we have so many things going on

and we're not able to focus and hone in our energy onto what matters most. And as you know, I say this a lot, the main pillar of manifestation is the ability to get very, very clear on what we desire and to hone in and hold that vision for an extended period of time. When our mind's going,

all over the place because we can't let go of what doesn't serve us,

then we become very ineffective at manifesting our desires with intention and with ease.

it's important to know that there's a really subtle yet very, very distinctive and powerful energy shift between quitting and letting go.

both quitting and staying stuck, both of those energies, or what I call like churning in an action you're really, really busy but not getting a lot done, both come from a place of resistance and fear. But letting go, releasing, it comes from a place of clarity, trust, and willingness to step into the unknown.

So let's talk about why we find it so difficult to let go of what's no longer serving us. I honestly think it's because

I think it's because letting go means basically we're stepping into the unknown. And we all know the unknown is fucking scary.

So even when something doesn't feel good anymore, it's familiar.

This is how people get stuck in relationships or jobs that no longer serve them for years or even their whole life. Because as humans, we cling to the familiar because it feels safe and even if it's keeping us stuck, our brain equates safety with survival.

So we need to ease that in our nervous system as we move into transition, as we move into releasing things that no longer serve us, by just letting our brains know that we're safe, that all is well in the world,

that we're simply creating room for something that is more aligned for us now. And that really requires a great amount of trust, both in ourself, in our manifestation ability, in the universe, in source, whatever you want to call it. It does require trust. I like to say letting go is sending out an invitation and unlocking a door.

to invite something more aligned to find you, something that's a better vibrational match for you. It's an act of trust and self-love, and sometimes it's the bravest choice that you can make.

And what's really interesting is

Even though releasing is an important part of growth, it's something that we don't really talk about much in society.

Because everyone wants to focus on the outcome, on the final stage of manifestation, on having the successful business and the money in the bank and the lover in your bed. But very rarely do we talk about what we have to release in order to get there. And here's a truth I share often. You hear me say this all the time. The woman who is living a soul aligned life.

the one who is running her business, charging her worth, attracting abundance and experiencing deep love.

She's doing different things than the woman who is stuck in self-doubt and fear. She's the same person, but she's shifted. She stepped into alignment. She has different beliefs. She thinks differently. She acts differently.

and she holds herself differently because she's let go of what doesn't fit any longer in order to make space.

for the version of herself who has everything she desires, who magnetically attracts everything she desires. the key, friend. You can't hold on to the old and expect space for the new. The version of you that's clinging to what's no longer serving you can't receive what's truly meant for you.

And friend, if you have a desire in your heart, it is meant for you. No matter how far-fetched it seems, no matter how out of reach it seems, you have everything inside you to step into that version of yourself. It's already within you. You just have to trust yourself and trust the process And let go of what's no longer serving you and the things and the beliefs and the habits that are holding you.

into your current situation. manifestation is not about getting more stuff. I know a lot of people come to this work because they want more money or a successful business or a partner. But that's not really what it's about. It's about stepping into the highest version of yourself, the version of you who naturally attracts the life she desires

because of who she is on the inside, how she feels about herself and how she shows up in the world. And here's the thing, I really, really want you to hear this today. That version of you, the one who has everything you desire, the one who is running her soul aligned business, thriving, making an impact, experiencing financial freedom, she's not holding on to the same limiting beliefs.

fears or habits that are keeping you where you are now. She's not doubting whether she's good enough. She's not doubting whether it's possible. She's not questioning if she has what it takes. She's not stuck in fear about what others think. She's not clinging to relationships or obligations. She's not over committing. She's not letting people step over her boundaries. She doesn't have habits that drain her energy because she's let go of what no longer serves her.

And deep down friend, you know this. You know there are things in your life, maybe even things you're holding onto right now that aren't aligned with a version of you that you're meant to be, the version of you that you're becoming, that highest potential in yourself.

And that's okay because letting go is a process. We're constantly going to be evolving

And we're constantly going to be releasing old versions, old things to make space for the new. That's part of life. It's part of how we manifest things. So friend, let me ask you, what are you currently holding onto right now that's no longer serving you? Maybe it's a belief like, I'm not good enough. I don't have what it takes. This is going to be really hard.

Maybe it's a habit that drains your energy like over committing, scrolling on social media for hours at a time, putting others before yourself. I want you to just take a moment to pause and really think about it.

want you to remember, letting go is not about loss. It's about freedom. Because when you release what doesn't serve you, you're not getting rid of something. You're saying to yourself, I deserve more and I trust that something more in alignment It's on its way to me.

It's really a huge act of trust and faith.

Melanie Mishler (: 14:35

All right, friend, real quick before we go, I wanna give you a personal example of how this can show up in our real life and how things change when we release something that doesn't serve us. When I was in my early 20s, I was in a really toxic and abusive relationship. And yet at that time, I clung to it. I didn't wanna let go. I didn't wanna get out of the

Because honestly, that young 20 year old had different beliefs about my worth than I do now. The woman who's standing here today talking to you would never ever even consider being in partnership with someone like the partner I had back then. In fact, a really funny story. Last week, I had a dream that that partner came back and was begging me to get back with him. And I woke up and I told Andy, my gosh.

I can't believe the dream I had.

because I would never consider that. and it reminded me of a Caesar Chavez quote.

In one of his famous quotes, he said, once the social change begins, it cannot be reversed. You cannot uneducate the person who's learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride and you cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore. obviously he was talking about the empowerment of a whole community of people.

but the same thing goes for ourselves. Once we step into our power, once you know your worth, you can't forget it. Once you step into your full potential, you can't go back to being small and giving away your power anymore. It doesn't work that way. I think Oprah is the one that said, once you know, you can't unknow. And friend, this is the same thing with your personal power, with

stepping into your full potential. Once you get into your power, there's no shrinking you anymore. There's no fear anymore. You just continue to move forward and to do your work.

Melanie Mishler (: 16:37

So my love, basically what I'm telling you is you have the knowledge and the wisdom in your cells, in your bones, in your heart to know what's meant for you, know when something isn't working for you and when something's in alignment with your highest self. You know, your body will tell you. And if there's something in your life right now that it's time to release, whether it's a belief, a relationship or

even just an old story that you've been telling yourself, I invite you to take that first step. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to trust that by letting go, you're making space for something more beautiful to come in.

All right, friend, I hope this conversation was what you needed today. If it resonated with you, please, I would love for you to share this with a friend.

and be sure to go sign up for the new masterclass. It's completely free. It will be a paid course in the future, but right now I'm doing it free in exchange for before it goes into the final recording stage and before it goes up for sale. So this is your chance to work with me for free for two days. It's gonna be a really powerful class and I hope to have you there.

Alright love, have a beautiful day and until next week, keep manifesting an epic life.