How A Digital Detox Will CHANGE Your LIFE!

Melanie (: 00:01

Hello, friend. Today on the podcast, we're talking about something that will drastically change your life. I promise. And even though it's a little thing, it can be really challenging to implement because, well, because we're talking about setting boundaries around your phone and technology, which we all know how hard that is. Okay. All my GenX women out there, you will remember like a glorious, glorious time back in the day before we had cell phones.

And back then, like if we were going out to dinner with a friend or going to a movie or even going on a walk, we were doing just that, right? Only that. We could be fully present in what we were doing because there was like no underlying anxiety of someone trying to reach us. We weren't multitasking. We didn't have a phone in our pocket like pinging us every few seconds to trying to get our attention. And...

Back then, if someone wanted to get a hold of you and you weren't home, they would simply leave a message. And guess what? It didn't cause a crisis or a catastrophe. They simply just left a message. But over the years, technology has become such a blessing and a curse because our phones are really great tools, but we've collectively, because.

But over the years, technology has become like both a blessing and a curse. You know, our phones are amazing tools, but we've collectively allowed little things to be high level urgent, right? We feel like a deep need to respond to a text right away or email back a client immediately or to always pick up our phone and check it when it pings.

And before the cell phone, before we had this, life just had a different quality. We were able to really be in a moment. And before the cell phone, life just had a different quality. We were able to be in a moment in a way that's really, really hard to do now. And for all my younger women who listen, it kind of breaks my heart that you don't have that embodied experience of what life was like be.

before all these distractions. Because you've grown up with this, l very normalized, but it's not normal. And I think we're really coming to a place, both scientifically and like sociologically, where we're starting to understand the damage that this has done on our nervous systems, the damage it does on our mental health, our physical health, and just our happiness scale, all of it.

So I wanna tell you a story about something that changed my life a few years ago. And you might know, as you might know, my husband and I run multiple businesses. And I had been in the practice for a really long time of having my phone with me 24 seven. I went to bed with my phone. When I woke up, the first thing I did was check my emails and texts, like before I even got out of bed. And...

I would have clients texting me at like seven in the morning or 11 at night. I'd sit down to finally work and someone would text with a random question, you know, or I would get pinged with something that wasn't really important. But I suddenly felt I had to get back to them right away. And this went on for a really long time. And I was getting to the point where I was just like frazzled all the time.

I wasn't getting any shit done. I couldn't concentrate. And I just felt like I wasn't fully present in my life. And I was, I was really stressed out like all the time. And the interesting thing is I couldn't put my finger on what was going on because I didn't have a bunch of urgent things happening. I didn't have, you know, a lot of so -called quote stress. Um, but at the same time,

Everything seemed urgent. So one day I was like, so one day I just had it and I'm like, I just got so frustrated with the pinging and the email, all of it. I'm like, fuck this shit. I'm so over this fucking phone. Right. And then I decided I'm going to take a sabbatical. I'm taking a technology sabbatical.

So Andy and I had an upcoming trip planned. We were gonna travel for six weeks all over Belize to decide where we wanted to live. Because for those of you who don't know, we live part -time in Belize and part -time in California. So anyway, so I decided during this trip, I was gonna have zero phone time. In fact, I actually left my phone at home in California so I wouldn't even be tempted to use it. Like I… had nothing. Didn't have my computer, didn't have my phone, no iPad. I had nothing. Now this took some planning, obviously, but I got it all set up so that other people would handle emails and the business and all that stuff during this time. And friend, this time without my phone, it was fucking amazing. Like if I needed to take a picture, I used my camera. If I needed to remember something, I wrote it down in a notebook.

If I needed to buy something, I went to the store and let me tell you.

And let me tell you, when you don't have access to online shopping, you suddenly need a lot less, like a lot less. So I'm telling you, the six weeks totally changed my life. I'm telling you, this six weeks completely changed my life because I was able to really be present.

and to just enjoy the texture of my life on a completely different level that I hadn't been able to do in a really long time. Now, I know this is not realistic for most people because we have kids and businesses and all that shit. So I'm not suggesting you take a sabbatical, but there is a way you can take back your time and take back your energy and protect it when it comes to technology. Because many of us are letting our phones

dictate where our attention goes and dictate what's most important to us.

But that's our job to do. Like we get to be in charge of our time and our attention. So a way to do this is to set up some downtime parameters or app limits on your phone. It's super easy to do.

It's super easy to set up your phone in a way that protects your attention and your space. So for instance, I use both downtime and app limits on my phone. And let me tell you, if any of you all try to text me between 8 p .m. and 10 a .m., you're not getting through. There is actually only...

It's really easy to set your phone up in a way that protects your attention and your time and your space. For instance, I use downtime apps.

For instance, I use downtime on my phone. And if any of you try to text me between 8 p .m. and 10 a .m., you are just straight not getting through. because there's only three people who can contact me during that time. Andy, my mom, and my daughter. That's it.

And a really funny story about this actually is that my phone is so locked down that when I first set this up, I was talking to a friend on a phone one night and all of a sudden the call dropped and I'm like, what the fuck? Like my phone just dropped the call. I went to call her back and my phone said, sorry, you can't contact this person during downtime.

And I looked at it and it was exactly eight o 'clock. So it literally just dropped my call at eight. And I couldn't call her back. I couldn't text her. So I had to wait until the next day. It was so funny. I'm now I'm not suggesting that you set your parameters up that strict, but let me tell you something. If you do, once you get used to it, it is really, really nice because your time becomes yours again. Like it's, it's so nice.

Anyway, I digress, so...

So a lot of us like we use social media. So it's really common for a lot of the women I work with to use social media to kind of like numb out at the end of the day. Like I just coached a woman who spent almost five hours a day scrolling through reels at night, like in the morning before she got up and at night. And that time is so valuable. It's your time. It's your most valuable resource.

Think about it. It's time you could be using to take care of yourself, to connect with friends, to work towards a goal you have, or just spend distraction -free time with family. So if you decide to implement this, get your time back. Okay, so if you decide to implement this and decide to try this on, okay, so if you decide to try this on,

Something really interesting happens that I want to warn you about. For the first week or so, your anxiety will probably increase a little bit because you'll feel like you're missing out or like you're missing something. You might tell yourself like, what if something happens or there's an emergency or someone can't reach me? Or you'll find yourself like wanting to reach for your phone because it's been become almost like an addiction.

But just trust me, breathe through the urge. And this is natural because our brains are designed to look for trouble and to keep us safe. And we've trained our brain to think that there's something on the phone we need, right? But I promise you, you'll be okay. No puppies will be harmed. No one will die. It will be okay. And if you stick with this,

then pretty soon your brain will start to settle and you'll enter into like a deeper level of presence in your life. And then like your nervous system will just start to settle down a bit. Your anxiety will start to ease up because you know that now you have this protected time. It's like a protected space that things are not urgent.

So I urge you to try this. It's really life changing once you get it dialed in. And you can start really easy with like putting some parameters on your phone. Like you can have it turn off from 10 at night to seven in the morning, or you can put app limits on so that instead of spending hours.

like getting lost in the social media scroll, it will shut off after an hour. You know, like start small. Another really good one to try is to get your phone out of your bedroom. Like leave it in your office or the kitchen or the bathroom anywhere but next to your bed.

That way you don't have the urge to scroll through the phone before you're going to sleep or to reach for it first thing in the morning and to get sucked into the social media scroll.

Okay, I think that's it for today. If you try this,Email me at hello at MelanieMishler .com. If you want some help implementing this, because friend, it can be hard. Trust me. Then reach out. I'd love to chat. Have a nice... All right, friend. See you next week.