How TINY Habits Create HUGE Change
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Introduction:
In a world filled with aspirations and ambitions, it's common to find ourselves setting grand goals, only to watch them fade away with time. New Year's resolutions, in particular, often fall victim to this pattern of abandonment. But what if I told you that the key to realizing your dreams lies not in lofty objectives, but in the smallest of daily habits?
Unlocking Potential Through Habits:
Habits are the silent architects of our lives, shaping our actions and influencing our outcomes. They're more than just routines; they're the neural pathways in our brains that guide our behaviors, whether toward success or stagnation. The beauty of habits lies in their adaptability – they can either propel us forward or hold us back, depending on how we cultivate them.
Identifying Supportive Habits:
The first step towards harnessing the power of habits is recognizing our current behavioral patterns. It's easy to focus on what we're not doing, but true insight comes from understanding what we ARE doing consistently. By pinpointing the habits that either align with or diverge from our goals, we gain clarity on where to direct our efforts for positive change.
Cultivating Change, One Habit at a Time:
Creating new habits doesn't require monumental efforts; it thrives on incremental progress. By starting with the smallest of actions, we can gradually build momentum towards our goals. Whether it's dedicating a few minutes each day to writing, or replacing unproductive habits with constructive ones, every tiny step brings us closer to our desired destination.
Embracing the Journey:
The journey towards our dreams is not a sprint but a marathon, fueled by consistent effort and unwavering commitment. As you embark on this path of self-discovery and growth, remember to celebrate every small victory along the way. True transformation isn’t about grand gestures, but the small actions that make up our lives. So as you navigate your own journey, I urge you to embrace the power of tiny habits. Whether you're pursuing a long-buried dream or striving for a short-term goal, remember that change begins with the smallest of actions. Until next time, be well.
xo
Melanie
Transcript
Welcome to the Magnetic Creator podcast. I'm your host, Melanie Mishler, and each week we have intimate conversations about the things that matter most in life. My superpower is helping you remember who you truly are. A powerful, magical creator. I give you proven tools to help you get unstuck and manifest a life that sets your heart on fucking fire. Are you ready? Let's go. Hello, friend, and welcome back. Today we're going to chat about habits.
and how our tiniest little habits can either move us towards or away from our big life goals. And this is important because everyone has had the experience of giving up on a goal, whether it's big or small. For instance, breaking those New Year's resolutions. I really think that those New Year's resolutions are probably some of our most broken promises we make to ourselves. Have you had that experience? I know I have. I have spent so many New Year's Eve's
very, very focused saying this next year, it's going to be the year I'm going to do all this stuff differently. And I set these huge goals. But then February one rolls around and that resolution has kind of just faded into the distance almost the same way a dream fades when you wake up in the morning. So I know I'm not the only one who does this, because did you actually know that the second Friday in January is called Quitters Day?
And that's because it's estimated that 80 % of the people who make New Year's resolutions, they put those resolutions to the wayside within two weeks. 80%. They actually have a day on the calendar. I think that's so interesting because here's the thing. We continue to do this to ourselves year after year, every time saying this year it's going to be different or this time it's going to be different.
we make these grand resolutions that just continue to get dropped. So trust me, if you ever struggled with follow through on any goal, whether it's a new year's resolution or a life goal, it's not because you're a failure or there's something wrong with you. It's just because you haven't adjusted your small tiny habits to support your bigger vision. And here's the secret, true change, true transformation, it comes in our tiniest daily habits.
Melanie Mishler:It's the everyday things, the things we think are normal and insignificant. Those are the things that are really holding us back from stepping into our full potential and achieving that goal. And research suggests that it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic or habitual. So it's no surprise that when we set a goal for ourselves without focusing on the habits needed to support it, that we end up joining the 80 % of people.
who feel disappointed on Quinter's Day. I think we've all been there. So let's talk about how to identify and create new habits. When I work with women in my program, we do an exercise together to learn about what their regular habits are. And I kid you not, every time I do this exercise, my clients start talking about all the things they think they should be doing but aren't. Like...
Well, I'm not waking up early enough or I should be spending more time on my goals and on and on. And I always say, wait a second, habits are the things that we are doing. What you're describing are the things that you're not doing. Those are literally the opposites of habits, right? Those are non habits. What we want to explore are what are the actual habits you're doing consistently that are taking you towards or away from your goals. So for instance, if someone says,
I'm not waking up early enough. Maybe the actual habit is staying up late scrolling on my phone, then I don't get enough sleep, then I press news on my alarm 10 times every morning. That's the actual habit. And all of those things in and of themselves are not good or bad. The real question is, are they leading you towards the version of who you want to become or not? That's the bigger question. So what are habits and how do we form?
Habits are things that we do almost automatically, but it's more than just personal discipline. They're essentially neural pathways in our brain that get strengthened with repetition. And every time an action is performed, the brain's neural pathway related to that behavior gets stronger. Almost like when you're building a road, the first time someone goes down that road, it's probably pretty rough. But as more gravel is put down and as more people travel it, it becomes smoother and easier.
Melanie Mishler:That's what our neural pathways are. And these stronger connections make it easier and faster for our brains to do that same behavior in the future. And over time, this leads to certain behaviors becoming automatic, which frees up space for our brain to do other things. You have to remember that our brains are receiving billions of pieces of information a day. The number is just completely staggering, and it's always working to save time and be more efficient.
trying to make things automatic so that it can focus on other things like keeping us alive. But here's the thing, your brain does not judge your habits. You can create automatic habits that lead you towards your goals or ones that sabotage your goals. Your brain is just designed to create the habit. And this is how many of us get stuck in self -sabotaging habits like numbing out by scrolling social media or zoning out on Netflix, things like that.
But those little habits of zoning out, those little moments create our life. They create our legacy. So pay attention to what your tiny little habits are and just ask yourself, is this leading me towards my goal? Is it taking me closer or further away to the life I want to live? I want to give you one more example because I was just working with a woman who she had a secret dream of writing a book. And this is a really common secret dream for my clients. And it's also close to my heart because I
Literally just finished my first book last week. It's in the editing stage right now, which is really exciting. But if you don't know what a secret dream is, a secret dream is one of those dreams you had maybe when you were younger or maybe sometimes even as a child. It's something that has just kind of got pushed to the back burner, often because you're so busy with life or raising kids or your career, things like that. It just kind of got tucked away for some day. Often they're in like
one day I want to or someday I wish I could. That's a secret dream. Anyway, I digress. So when I asked her about her writing habits to support this secret dream of hers, she said, Melanie, I never write. I don't even journal because I'm so busy. So maybe when my kids get older, then I'll write the book. And I hear this a lot for women when they come in for coaching. It's almost like their dreams are just put on permanent pause.
Melanie Mishler:as they move through their life and their career and things like that. So it's no surprise that her goal had been kind of just tucked away and hidden. But we also discovered as we were doing this work that she did have a habit of laying in bed at night, scrolling through TikTok videos for about 60 to 90 minutes before falling asleep each night. We also discovered that if she changed up that habit of scrolling on her phone and say maybe she scrolled for...
45 minutes and wrote for 15 minutes that she could likely have her book completely finished by the time her kids are ready to go to college. And when she heard this, a little light bulb went off. It was like, huh. I don't have to keep this dream just tucked away for the next 15 years. I can work on it a little bit every day and actually see some traction. So the next time you have a big goal,
start looking at what are the tiniest habits that will support your goal. And when I say tiny, I mean teeny little tiny habits that support your goal. If you have a dream that's been on the back burner or it's been on hold for 10 or 20 years, then you don't need to start with huge, big audacious actions. You just need to start with one little supportive habit at a time. Okay, friend, thank you for being here today and I will see you next week.
